


Father's Day

by jarpadsangel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 15:06:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4184427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarpadsangel/pseuds/jarpadsangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam decides he wants to be alone with his thoughts and comes to an important conclusion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Father's Day

**Author's Note:**

> I was in a sappy Father's Day mood... Don't judge me.

It was dark outside. Well. Not pitch-dark, but dark enough for Sam having to switch on the headlights of the Impala. Dean was at the bunker, sitting on the sofa with possibly either a bottle of beer or a sticky porn magazine in his hands. Most probably both.  
  
Sam had grabbed the car keys, having decided he needed some fresh air.   
"Bring some more pie!" Sam just tuned Dean's words out. He needed some time for himself without having to worry about his brother's well-being. God, that man was annoying the shit out of him sometimes.  
  
Despite wanting to be alone, Sam hated sitting in silence, therefore he decided to turn the radio on. He was immediately greeted by a neutral male voice who announced to him that it was Father's Day and advised him to tell his father today how much he loved him. The tall hunter snorted quietly and was about to change the station when a song was announced.   
'Father and Son' by Cat Stevens.   
Sam groaned out. So much sappiness today, but he hesitated, his thumb hovering over the button. He'd never gotten to actually listen to the song. His father had always immediately switched to a different radio station. Sam assumed that John Winchester had just not liked the song, but maybe there was more to it. And Sam never really listened to the lyrics. He decided to do that now and turned the volume up. What the hell. He didn't care.  
  
_❝It's not time to make a change, just relax, take it easy. You're still young, that's your fault, there's so much you have to know.❞_  
  
Sam narrowed his eyes at the radio. Why was he doing this again?   
His eyes flickered back on the road again after checking his watch. 10:53 PM.   
The sun had set about two hours ago, but Sam could still see a faint streak of a slightly lighter sky on the horizon.   
  
_❝Find a girl, settle down, if you want, you can marry. Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy.❞_  
  
Yeah well, that ship sailed long ago. Jess was the only girl he'd ever wanted to marry. And he knew she wouldn't come back, ever, but that didn't make him forget about her any faster.   
He knew what Dean would say. 'Sam, get over it, man. That was ten years ago, find someone else.'   
Yeah, and Sam also knew that his brother was damn right. And he'd managed, he'd managed to move on. With Dean's help. No resting, always being on the road. That had been a great distraction.   
The hunter let out a quiet sigh.   
  
_❝I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy to be calm when you've found something going on.❞_  
  
Summer, 2001.  
"Dad, I'm leaving you and Dean."  
Yelling. Broken plates.  
"Dad, I'm going to Stanford."  
Disappointment instead of the long-anticipated proudness of Sam.  
Then... Anger.  
"Sam, that's bullshit. /This/ is your life. What do you think you're gonna do? Build up a decent life? Find someone to spend the rest of your existence with? Well, that's not how it works."  
  
_❝But take your time, think a lot. Why, think of everything you've got, for you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.❞_  
  
His dreams had dissolved into a big bunch of crap. Just like his father had foretold him.   
His dream of becoming a fantastic lawyer. His dream of marrying. His damn dream of leaving his screwed up past behind himself.   
  
_❝How can I try to explain? 'Cause when I do, he turns away again. It's always been the same, same old story.❞_  
  
His father never seemed to understand his dreams. Never seemed to even /want/ to understand what his younger son was dreaming of.   
Why had John never listened to him?   
  
_❝From the moment I could talk, I was ordered to listen. Now there's a way, and I know that I have to go away, I know I have to go.❞_  
  
John Winchester never had accepted a 'no'. Never accepted that his two sons showed any weakness. And Sam had hated him for it. But was that really a sign of his father's cold heart? Or rather just the attempt to keep his boys from getting hurt, physically as well as emotionally?  
  
When Sam had left for Stanford, he hadn't only left John and Dean Winchester. He had left the only family he had ever been able to call his own.   
  
_❝It's not time to make a change, just sit down, take it slowly. You're still young, that's your fault, there's so much you have to go through.❞_  
  
Maybe all his dad wanted was to keep him safe. John Winchester wasn't weak, or cold-hearted. He loved his boys. So much he gave up his life for one of them eventually, knowing that Dean was all Sam had left. Sam couldn't lose his big brother, and John knew that. So he sacrificed himself, a last act of showing his sons how much he loved them.   
John Winchester gave Dean several more years to live, but what he gave to Sam was far more precious. He gave him his brother back. The only thing John knew for sure was important to the youngest Winchester.   
In fact, not just important. The most important part of Sam's life.  
  
_❝Find a girl, settle down, if you want, you can marry. Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy.❞_  
  
John Winchester died with a smile on his lips. Knowing that his two boys would have each other's backs, would do anything for one another.   
And Sam knew, he didn't need the perfect apple pie life he'd always been dreaming about because it was just in front of him.   
  
**'I know where I'm at my best and that is right here, driving down crazy street, next to you.'**   
That's what Dean had told him a few years ago. And Sam hadn't realized it yet but that's all he needed.   
  
_❝All the times that I've cried, keeping all the things I knew inside. It's hard but it's harder to ignore it.❞_  
  
Only when Sam's vision was getting blurry, he realized he was crying.   
He suddenly wished his father was still here and he could tell him how thankful he was for everything John had done for him and his brother. He'd always put his own feelings aside for his boys.   
Sam pulled over and felt tears streaming down his face. He could almost hear Dean's voice, telling him to stop being so chick-flicky.   
And he realized that home, home was indeed where your heart is set in stone, and that place was with Dean. "Thank you, Dad." Sam whispered croakily and pressed his palms to his eyes to stop crying.  
  
The younger Winchester arrived at the bunker about an hour later, hiding something behind his back.  
  
"Sam, what the hell have you been doing out there? I swear, if you ruined my Baby..." He could hear his brother, an annoyed undertone hinted in Dean's voice.  
  
"Oh, nothing special." Sam replied softly and with a faint smile. "Hey, I brought your pie."  
  
_❝If they were right, I'd agree, but it's them they know, not me. Now there's a way, and I know that I have to go away, I know I have to go.❞_  
  


 


End file.
